Fear😨

Hello, Darkness… my old friend.

Yeah—come closer.
It’s been a while since we had one of these late-night,
heart-on-the-table,
truth-with-no-filter conversations.

You always show up uninvited,
sliding through the cracks of my confidence
like smoke that knows the shape of my lungs.
You sit at the foot of my bed
whispering,
“You’re not enough… you’ve never been enough.”

And I pretend not to listen.
But you know I do.
You’ve always known.

Fear... 
you wear my voice like a stolen jacket.
You walk around in my thoughts,
leaving muddy footprints on every dream
I tried to keep clean.
You say you’re protecting me... 
“Stay low, stay quiet, stay safe.”
But safety feels a lot like a cage
when the door is always locked from the inside.

You know what’s crazy?
I mistook you for a friend.
A sharp-tongued guardian angel
keeping me from cliffs I was too scared to climb.
But now I see it... 
You weren’t shielding me from falling,
you were stopping me from flying.

Darkness, you love routines.
Three A.M. check-ins.
Heart racing like it’s late for something.
Hands shaking like they heard bad news
before the mind did.
You’re predictable…
but somehow you hit different every time.

But tonight... 
yeah, tonight... 
I’m pulling up a chair across from you.

We need to talk.

I won’t pretend I don’t know you.
I won’t act like you’re not part of the reason
I fight so hard when the sun rises.
You’ve pushed me into corners
I had to punch my way out of.
You’ve kept my knees on the ground,
but you also taught me how to stand.

So hear me out:

I’m done letting your echo
be louder than my voice.
I’m done handing you the microphone
just because you’re first to speak.
I’m done calling you “truth”
when you’re really just a really good liar.

Tonight, I’ll let you sit here... 
but you don’t get to drive.
You don’t get to choose the routes
or dim the lights on highways
meant for my purpose.

Because I’ve realized something dangerous:
You only exist in the places
I refuse to walk into.
And I’m walking now.
Maybe trembling... 
maybe slow... 
but moving.

Hello, Darkness… my old friend.
Stay if you want.
Watch if you need to.
But I’m stepping toward the light
and you’re not invited to speak anymore.

Not tonight.
Not again.